Books

From Heart to Canvas

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This week I spent an evening with Cancer Research UK at their shop on Bold Street, Liverpool.  As well as promoting my new book Another Way to Fall, it was also an opportunity for my brother to show some of his paintings for the very first time.  The three paintings were created to accompany poems I’d written about my son; my words and my emotions transferred onto canvas.   But I can’t claim it was only my feelings being represented in his amazing pictures.  I wasn’t the only person affected by my son’s death and for that matter, I’m not the only mother to be affected by the loss of a child.

Amanda Brooke

Claire at the Cancer Research UK shop

Having my family there on the night highlighted to me exactly how much Nathan has influenced all our lives.  My brother Chris is a plasterer by trade and art had always been a hobby that he never took too seriously.  All of that changed after Nathan came into our lives only to leave us too soon.  My brother’s art became not only a way for him to direct his own emotions and experiences but so much more than that.  If Nathan taught us anything it’s that life’s too short, too unpredictable and too precious to waste.  Chris is taking his art far more seriously these days and I hope he makes a success of it because it’s undoubtedly another one of Nathan’s legacies.

Amanda Brooke

Chris Valentine and his works of art

The paintings will be on display at the shop for a little while so if you’re in Liverpool then please, please call into the shop.   You’ll find them on the first floor which is where all the second hand books are kept.  You might even find me there, I was checking out the bookshelves and have was a long list of books I want to get my hands on!

If you can’t get to see the paintings in person, then you can always check them out in my previous blogs:

Autumn child – http://wp.me/p2B9JM-45

Golden Thread – http://wp.me/p2B9JM-4k

Where Ocean Meets the Sky – http://wp.me/p2B9JM-4z

Unwritten Pages

Amanda Brooke 2 Comments

This week Another Way to Fall goes on general release and I’m really hoping that readers fall in love with my heroine Emma as much as I have.  She is a young woman who has barely tasted life but is forced to face her own mortality when the brain tumour she thought she had beaten returns.

I have to admit that I felt distinctly uncomfortable creating a character who had cancer but it was a story I had to write because the basic premise had been drawn from my own experience.  When my son Nathan died, it wasn’t only that sweet little boy who had been stolen from me but his entire future, and for a while, mine too.  I desperately wanted to know what he might have gone on to achieve if only he had been given the opportunity but at three years old, I had only the merest hint of the man he was meant to be.Nathan xxx

Nathan was a little charmer, I knew that much at least.  He was chatty and mischievous but he could also be quite shy.  He hid behind his Thomas the Tank Engine sunglasses during our lengthy stays in hospital and occasionally when a new visitor came to see us he would simply say, ‘me too busy.’  He wasn’t perfect, he cheated at cards and he had an eye for the ladies.  He fell in love twice, once with my nephew’s girlfriend Paula and later with his nurse, Pat.  But these were only tantalizing glimpses of the life he might have led and I was left to imagine how those empty pages in his life’s story might have been filled.

In Another Way to Fall, Emma gets to fill the empty pages of her life by writing the story herself.  She finds answers to all of those ‘what ifs,’ and for me that was very satisfying despite the book being an extremely difficult one to write.  It took many, many drafts because I put a lot of pressure on myself to do justice to the story, not for the sake of my fictional character but out of respect for those people who are forced to face the realities of cancer and in particular those with high grade brain tumours.  I might have the misfortune of being able to write a story like this from a mother’s perspective but I couldn’t claim to know what was going on inside Emma’s head, either from a medical or an emotional point of view.  That was when I turned to BT Buddies (http://www.btbuddies.org.uk) and I am indebted to the time and effort Natalya Jagger took in helping me with my research.  It was important to me and I think to Natalya too, that my book was based on reality.  There are no miracle cures in the real world and there couldn’t be for Emma.  Her fate was sealed in many respects from the very beginning. I don’t claim to have all the finer detail correct and there has been some poetic license in terms of Emma’s seizures but I can only hope Another Way to Fall has captured at least a fraction of the real life battles faced by brain tumour sufferers.  If you get a chance, please visit the BT Buddies website and give your support.

Not so much a ruin…

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My second novel Another Way to Fall is based in my home city of Liverpool and it was lovely being able to draw in parts of the city that are so familiar to me and others that were less so.  One of my favourite scenes in the book is set in St Luke’s which is more commonly known as the Bombed Out Church.  I’ve probably driven past it a thousand times on my way to and from work but until I started planning my novel, I had never been inside.  I’m so glad I decided to use the church in my book because it made me take a closer look at one of the city’s most iconic landmarks.St Luke's Church

St Luke’s can be found at the top of Bold Street in the city centre and was a parish church until 1941 when it was bombed during the blitz.  An incendiary device was dropped at one end of the church and the ensuing fire swept through the entire building, completely destroying the roof and interior as well as bringing some of St Luke’s famous bells crashing to the ground.  Amazingly the stone façade survived unscathed.  The sandstone tower and ornate pinnacles still look perfect today and at first glance you probably wouldn’t notice that the roof and the windows are missing.  It’s no longer a church but thankfully the building is still being put to good use.  Urban Strawberry Lunch are artists in residence who organise events at the site and have made sure the church and its history remain a part of the city.

Bombed-Out Church InteriorIn my novel, St Luke’s is where Emma wants to get married and although the ruined church isn’t licensed for wedding ceremonies, this is her dream wedding so anything is possible.  I certainly couldn’t think of a more appropriate and poignant setting.  To all intents and purposes, the church is a desolate ruin, inside you can still see the charred remains of timbers that once supported the roof and tiny fragments of the stained glass windows.  And yet you can’t help looking at the building and seeing its beauty and magnificence.  Little wonder that my heroine was drawn to it.

You can find out more about the site on the St Luke’s website and if you’re ever in Liverpool, I dare you not to think of Emma when you visit the church.

A Richard and Judy moment

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As any writer knows, one of the best ways to improve your writing skills is to read and one particular novel I’ve thoroughly enjoyed recently is SeaSea Sisters Sisters by Lucy Clarke.  Not only is it another fabulous pick from the Richard and Judy Book Club but it’s also a book that was originally spotted by my editor Sarah Ritherdon at HarperCollins who also acquired my book Yesterday’s Sun…another Richard and Judy selection.

So while I immersed myself in the lives of the Sea Sisters, at the back of my mind I was also marvelling at my own good fortune.  As I considered what it was about this novel that caught Richard and Judy’s eye, I couldn’t help wondering what it was that caught their attention in my book.  What I do know is it was very exciting time in my life and one I’ll never forget.

Yesterday’s Sun was selected for the Spring 2012 list but it was in October 2011 when I first heard the news.  I had finished work (my day job) early because HarperCollins had arranged for some photos to be taken for my author profile.  The photographer was lovely but it wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience for me trying to look comfortable in front of a camera.  I’d switched off my phone so it was only when I left the studio that I noticed a missed call from Sarah.  I was walking through Cavern Walks in Liverpool laden down with the outfits I’d taken for the photo shoot when I phoned her back.

She was delirious with excitement and at first I wasn’t quite sure what she was telling me.  It took a while for the news to sink in but when it did I sank down onto some nearby stone steps.  You know how you try to talk quietly when you’re on the phone in a public place?  Well not me, not that day.  It didn’t take long before I was just as excited as Sarah, tears were in my eyes but I couldn’t stop grinning even when passersby looked at me with mild curiosity.  Next I phoned my agent Luigi Bonomi, who already knew of course, but the excitement was contagious.  And after that?  Well…nothing.  I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone else!!  It was top secret and there was a veiled threat that if the news leaked out then I could be taken off the Richard and Judy list.

So what did I do?  I went to the supermarket and bought a bottle of champagne and then rushed home to my daughter who was the only other person I was allowed to tell. And what was the response of my sixteen year old daughter?  ‘Who are Richard and Judy?’  Sorry Richard.  Sorry Judy.

I cannot even begin to explain how frustrating it was not being able to tell people.  I suppose the only good thing was that at this point my writing career had barely started and I didn’t have this blog; I wasn’t on twitter; and I didn’t have an author page on Facebook so the only real temptations were with family and friends.  The list was going to be announced on 5th January 2012 and I have to say I was pretty good at keeping the secret although by Christmas I was whispering the news to my family, swearing them to secrecy.  Not that they did.  When I told my brother Jon he grinned sheepishly, my mum had already told him.

The first time I saw my book on sale was in WH Smiths on the Richard and Judy stand.  It was the day before publication so I hadn’t expected to see it.  I was on my own and I stood there transfixed.  My hand trembled as I picked it up, still not quite believing my book had been published and then quietly I put it back on the shelf.  How I stopped myself from grabbing the nearest unsuspecting customer and pointing at it I’ll never know.

But the highlight of the whole experience had to be being interviewed by Richard and Judy for their website.  They were filming a series of interviews with some of the authors on the Spring list and we all gathered in what had been set up as the green room before being ushered in to be interviewed.  Jojo Moyes was there and said not to worry about the interview as she’d heard how experienced interviewers like Richard and Judy didn’t let their interviewees fail, they would look after us and they did.  Not that I can tell you much about the end result. I still haven’t watched the interview…but click here it is if you want to take a peak.

OK, so now I’ve just realised how every other sentence has Richard and Judy in it, including this one!  Needless to say that even now, eighteen months later I’m still absolutely thrilled that my debut novel had such an amazing kick start.  Thank you Richard and Judy…and by the way, have you heard that my next book Another Way to Fall is out soon? [VERY SOON – WATCH THIS SPACE!]

My Autumn Child

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I suspect I’m not the first author to think long and hard about what to share on a site like this.  The answer on the face of it should be a relatively easy one.  It is after all an author blog set up to share information about my writing and my books and a host of other ‘author-ish’ insights.  The question is really about what not to share and where to draw that line between the public persona and the private person.

My problem however is that one of the most personal aspects of my life is also the reason why I write, not to mention why I write the things I write.  There is no clear separation.  I began to write because my little boy was diagnosed with cancer and writing was the only way I could express how I felt; I continued to write because when he died at 3 years of age, a huge void entered my life and words were one way of filling the abyss; and I write now because my son continues to influence my life.  I write because I am so very proud of everything he did in his short life and how much he continues to influence those who were privileged to know him.

So I make no apologies as I begin the countdown towards the publication of my second book in September.  Once again I feel compelled to tell the world that it’s all because of Nathan.  I have no choice.  I’m the only voice he has now.

By the same token, I should also add that I am immensely proud of my daughter too but here I will draw the line.  Jessica does have a voice and is more than capable of using it.  I must therefore respect her privacy, or at least as much as any other gushingly proud and interfering mother can.

With all of that said, here is what I wanted to share with you today.  It will come as no surprise that I wasn’t the only one influenced by Nathan’s life.  Where I began to write, my brother Chris Valentine was inspired to develop his artistic talent.  Below is an example of how our creative paths crossed as we both dealt with Nathan’s illness and ultimately his loss.  I wrote the poem ‘My Autumn Child’ when Nathan was in the midst of his battle against leukaemia and the painting is my brother’s visualisation of my words and essentially my son’s life.  I think the painting is beautiful.  There are a couple of other poems and paintings I hope to share soon but this poem is particularly poignant as it was the inspiration for my second novel.  The working title of Another Way to Fall was Autumn Child.

My Autumn Child

My autumn child, take my hand
Give me the courage
To walk through this desolate land
Give me the courage to keep by your side
Not able to heal you and nowhere to hide

My autumn child, touch my face
Give me the strength
To smile in this godforsaken place
Give me the strength not to give in
To the anger that burns from deep within

My autumn child belongs in the spring
Should take life for granted, see everything
Shouldn’t face winter ‘til he’s an old man
That’s what I thought, that was the plan

My autumn child should learn from his mum
How to play safe and how to have fun
But my autumn child is the one teaching me
To face the storm and bend like the tree

My autumn child, as winter nears
Give me the hope to staunch these tears
Give me the faith to hold onto those dreams
Of you in my future, when so bleak it seems

My autumn child is orange and gold
The brightest colours so vivid and bold
Born to shine and never to fade
My autumn fruit, the child I made

By Chris Valentine

By Chris Valentine

So the agent likes it but what does the editor think??

Amanda Brooke 2 Comments

If you’ve been following this blog then you’ll know how I’ve been busy writing my first short story.  Forty days ago I had an idea in my head and lots of blank pages.  Even a week or so ago when I thought I’d finished, I still didn’t know if what I’d written would get the approval of my agent and publisher.

Luigi has said he loves it so what did Kim think?  Well, here’s what she said….

‘I’ve read Less Than Perfect this morning and think it’s wonderful. As Luigi says, it’s so emotional! It really does capture those hidden dynamics between couples that go unspoken for a long time even though everyone is aware of the truth…’

Of course I’m not completely off the hook.  Kim has suggested a couple of ‘tiny tweaks’ which I hope will only strengthen the story but they really are minor adjustments, nothing compared the major redrafting and restructuring that can happen with a full length manuscript.

So now as I set to work on the next draft of Less than Perfect I can honestly say it’s been a thoroughly enjoyable journey and one I hope will be out there soon for readers to enjoy too.  I’m off to London next week to catch up with Kim so there might be some more news then, if not about the short story then most definitely about the publication of my second book Another Way to Fall which is due out in September.   Yes, there’s definitely going to be progress to report on that score so watch this space!

What happened next to my short story?  It was published 🙂

The Keeper of Secrets

DAY 33: It’s written and now it’s been read…by someone else

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Up until this point, writing my first short story had been completely in my control.  Other than talking through the concept with my editor it’s been up to me how I structured the story, how the characters developed and how it ended.  It’s only now that I’ve shared it with my agent and editor, that it becomes more of a collaboration and in some ways this is the most nerve-wracking time as I wait for feedback and get the first response to the story that I hope to share with my readers one day soon.  The insecure part of me is always asking, is it good enough and more importantly, am I good enough to take onboard any comments, unravel the plot and remake the story if I have to?

The detailed edits will come from Kim Young my editor but right now I’m happy, happy, happy to have a response from my agent Luigi Bonomi who is one of the most respected literary agents in the UK and as people keep telling me, I’m lucky to have him.  He says, and I quote, ‘I’ve just finished Less than Perfect and thought it was gripping – I particularly loved the way you handled Charlie. It struck me as just the kind of story your fans would love.’

It’ll come as no surprise that I have a big cheesy grin as I write this and I can only hope it holds out until I get word back from Kim.

What happened next

DAY 29: Step away from the computer

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I’m finally at the point where I can write those magical words, ‘THE END,’ and mean it, for now at least.  I have to be honest, after writing the story and then going through it twice again, all in the space of a month has turned my brain to mush!  As I’m reading it through, I can’t be sure if I’m recognising text because it’s repeated or simply because I’ve read it for the nth time.

That’s not to say that the last run through hasn’t been useful.  One amendment that did make me smile was a character name I’d used.  Elle’s parents are called Ann and Harry but for some reason I’d been calling Elle’s mum Pat in sections of the first draft, so in the second draft I corrected the references and thought no more about it.  It was only in the third draft that I realised I’d also given her parents the surname Summers…yes, Elle’s mum is none other than the famous purveyor of lingerie and ‘toys.’   So it was goodbye Ann Summers and hello Anne O’Brien!

So at the end of it all I’ve produced a short story with a word count of just over 22k and rather than the eight sections I’d started with, I now have 12 chapters.  My last job was a quick spell check which is good for picking up the obvious spelling errors and grammatical gaffs but some of the suggested corrections from Microsoft leave me scratching my head.  No, Mr Gates, I don’t want to change ‘worse for wear,’ for ‘worse for wears,’ and I’m getting a little fed up of seeing ‘fragment (consider revising)’ on nearly every piece of dialogue; and don’t get me started on how many semicolons you want to put into the manuscript!  I’m by no means an expert on grammar (I’m sure someone’s already picking out errors as they read this!!) but as long as I’ve picked out the obvious and it doesn’t distract the reader (i.e. my agent and my editor) then it’s good enough for now.  There are many, many blessings in having a publishing contract and one of them is the amazing support from a team of people including expert copywriters who will go through it with a fine tooth comb later on.

Speaking of my agent and my editor, that’s where the story is heading next.  Once I’ve emailed it to Luigi and Kim then I really will be stepping away from the computer because I won’t touch it again until their comments have come back.  OK, that’s not quite true.  I won’t touch the manuscript but there’s so much else to do on my computer.  I think I have a summer of writing Book 4 to look forward to so it’s goodbye Elle and hello Jo.

What happened next

DAY 3: I have pages…with words on them!

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Remember all of those empty pages?  Well not any more.  I’m now on day three and I’ve already completed nine pages.

As I mentioned, I’ve broken the story up into eight sections, allowing 2000 words per section which gives me a little bit of wriggle room if I need to extend some sections.  Amazingly I’m on track and have finished the first section.  The hardest thing has been to switch my mind from the characters in my third book (which was originally The Bench but now has a more imaginative working title of The Lonely Swan).  In The Lonely Swan, my main character Maggie is blind so I’ve spent months describing surroundings and situations in a completely different way, concentrating on sounds and smells rather than visual descriptions.  It’s a hard habit to break but the more I’m writing, the more I feel like I’m getting under Elle’s skin.

I can’t wait to carry on with the story but tomorrow there will be no time to write as I’m at the Albert Dock in Liverpool for an author event with Jane Costello and Erica James (Blue Bar 6pm – 8pm).  Drop in and say hello if you’re nearby!

What happened next

DAY 1: Pencils at the ready!

Amanda Brooke 2 Comments

My short story is still in the ‘planning phase,’ but not for much longer.  I have the synopsis I sketched out a while ago and I’ve now split it into eight sections.  That way I have a bit more of an idea of how to pace the story…it’s not a full length novel I keep telling myself!  One of the hardest decisions I find at the start of writing a new project is picking names for my characters.  I always seem to fall into the trap of plucking them out of thin air, thinking that I’ll revisit them later on only to find that I’ve become so attached to the character that I couldn’t possibly consider rechristening them.  I have a feeling I’ve fallen into that same trap again…

Along with names for my characters, I’ve been trying to picture them in my head and I’ve listened in on little snatches of their conversations.  There’s Elle who is thirty five and married to Rick and they have a six year old son called Charlie.  So far it’s the conversations with Elle and Charlie that are capturing my imagination so that’s where I’m going to start the story.  I already know how I want the very first scene to play out and what they’ll say to each other.  Now I just need to start writing before I forget everything!

By my estimation, if I’m aiming for a story length of 20,000 words then that’s 80 pages…80 so far blank pages.  Gulp!

Well they’re not getting filled while I’m messing about with this blog, are they?  Bye for now!

What happened next…